Chi-town (fiction)

One time, in September, I went to a bachelor party in Chicago. On Saturday we went to the Wrigley rooftops, and they had like 7 or 8 different Goose Islands on tap. My favorite was the Cubby Bear Blue. Second favorite was the 3-1-2, or as I say, the 'three-one-deuce', which is a Wheat Beer and is really good too. They also have a Green line beer and a Honkers ale and that is all I could remember. It was all you can drink and eat, so needless to say I drank all of them. Then me and my boy Scripps, whom I shared a bed with at hotel (it was Kosher, don't worry) made friends with a group of Puerto Ricans on the rooftop. After the game we went with our Puerto Rican friends to the Cubby Bear Bar across the street, who just happened to have the sweetest DJ in the world bumping the Bone-Thugs and Biggie at like 4:30 in the afternoon....so we took the RedLine back downtown to hotel to meet up with the group we were with that we lost at some point in afternoon. Later that evening we went to a late dinner at this place called the Admiral's Theater, which doesn't serve alcohol (you just go to bar beside place which is annoying, but effective).They put on this show at about 11:30pm and 1am where they get these two girls on stage, and there is a glass shower, and they have water that some how gets in the shower and then girls....use your imagination. I am still having trouble figuring out how on earth they get the water into the shower on stage...perhaps it was the all day drinking, but I wouldnt be so sure... I take that back, the 11:30 scene was two girls in the shower. The 1am was two girls dressed like Egyptians (post-Mubarak era) that were in a tomb that looked like King Tut and really liked each other. A lot. Kinda like what you see online but much better in person. Then the cab driver we got back that night at like 3am was either drunk or asleep or lit up or all of the above. I was shitfaced (obvi) by this point, but this mother F*kr couldnt drive a straight line to save his life and he was driving like 40mph on the interstate or like 80...no middle ground whatsoever. First I asked if he was ok then I just started talking shit to him. I wasnt as confident in his abilities as the actresses at the theater......